How to Say No Without Burning Bridges.
Pushing back isn’t saying no. It’s saying yes to what truly matters.
Burnout isn't just the result of long hours or an overwhelming workload—it's the unsettling feeling that you've lost control over your own work and life. It's like being a passenger when you should be in the driver's seat.
So, how do you regain control? It starts with making tough decisions, and perhaps the hardest one is learning to say no.
Saying no can be intimidating. It might feel like you're disappointing others or straining valuable relationships. However, consistently saying yes to everything not only overloads you and your team but also erodes your sense of autonomy. The good news?
There's a way to decline requests while still maintaining trust and collaboration.
That's where the CARE framework comes into play.
Contextualize.
Contextualize the request by reminding the stakeholder of the outcomes your org is responsible for driving and the work that’s already on your plate.
Share any additional information you have that might mitigate their concerns.
Anchor.
Anchor the conversation in your decision and rationale. Be clear and direct about your decision, and explain why you can’t take on the work.
For example, you don’t have the capacity, or there is other work that takes priority.
Being unclear only delays the inevitable, or makes the stakeholder feel like they can push back on your response.
Most of the people who say “no” tend to stop here. But stopping might put at risk your “Team Player” badge. So keep reading.
Recommend.
Recommend an alternative, if one exists. Being solution-oriented in moments like this will help you build a relationship that’s collaborative.
Maybe you can offer to do it at a later date. Think about other low-cost ways you can support that work.
Empathize.
Recognize why the request matters to this stakeholder and vocalize their perspective.
Saying no doesn’t have to damage your reputation as a team player. In fact, when done right, it can actually strengthen your relationships and make your team more efficient.
The CARE framework offers a structured, empathetic approach that keeps you in control of your workload while still fostering collaboration and trust. Remember, it’s not about saying no to the person—it's about saying no to the work, with a clear, respectful explanation and a proactive mindset.
Next time you're faced with an overwhelming request, try CARE—it’s your roadmap to reclaiming control and staying on track.